visiting hour

i wanted to share the following meditation with you. i wrote this piece for 

a Catholic women's magazine called Radiant (click here to see this piece in the magazine). 

it is a meditation on adoring Jesus.

VISITING HOUR

Here I am, Lord.

Sorry it’s taken me so long.

I’ve been so busy, so distracted.

It’s hard sometimes just to make it to Mass.

I must confess, I’m nervous. I'm not sure what to say to you...

It’s been tough of late, but I’ve muscled through.

Sometimes, Lord, I feel I could buckle at any moment.

I’m thankful you made me strong.

Or am I?

Sometimes I feel so alone, so useless, like nothing I do has value or purpose.

But here, I don’t feel alone. Maybe it was you getting me through.

Were you really there?

Are you here now?

Somehow, just being here, I'm at peace.

Nothing, and yet everything has changed.

I feel good enough, cherished, even loved.

But I’ve been away from you. I get distracted by petty things. I forget to pray.

How can you love me even when I forget you?

Still you do.

Here with you, Lord, I feel cradled.

I give everything to you: fears, distraction, tiredness, unworthiness.

I don’t want to forget you again.

I needed this, Lord.

I didn’t know how much I needed this—a time to sit and be loved by you.

I needed you, Lord.

Thank you for being patient with me.

They’ve come to tuck you back into your home in the tabernacle.

I promise it won’t be so long this time.

Or wait.

Could you make my heart your home?