Tuesday, April 17

visiting hour

i wanted to share the following meditation with you. i wrote this piece for 
a Catholic women's magazine called Radiant (click here to see this piece in the magazine). 
it is a meditation on adoring Jesus.


Here I am, Lord.

Sorry it’s taken me so long.
I’ve been so busy, so distracted.
It’s hard sometimes just to make it to Mass.

I must confess, I’m nervous. I'm not sure what to say to you...

It’s been tough of late, but I’ve muscled through.
Sometimes, Lord, I feel I could buckle at any moment.
I’m thankful you made me strong.

Or am I?

Sometimes I feel so alone, so useless, like nothing I do has value or purpose.

But here, I don’t feel alone. Maybe it was you getting me through.
Were you really there?
Are you here now?

Somehow, just being here, I'm at peace.
Nothing, and yet everything has changed.
I feel good enough, cherished, even loved.

But I’ve been away from you. I get distracted by petty things. I forget to pray.
How can you love me even when I forget you?
Still you do.

Here with you, Lord, I feel cradled.
I give everything to you: fears, distraction, tiredness, unworthiness.
I don’t want to forget you again.

I needed this, Lord.
I didn’t know how much I needed this—a time to sit and be loved by you.
I needed you, Lord.
Thank you for being patient with me.

They’ve come to tuck you back into your home in the tabernacle.
I promise it won’t be so long this time.

Or wait.

Could you make my heart your home?

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