i have a weakness for a good, steamy romance, and i am quite aware of the fluffiness of this weakness.
sometimes a mama just needs something fluffy. she puts her feet up, chills for a minute with a delicious mug or glass of something, and enjoys a moment of quiet with a tasty novel. it may only last a moment, but it's enough to fortify her for the next portion of the day.
it's amazing what a few minutes of alone time can bolster you to endure.
so one of my fluffy weaknesses (in the good company of pop tarts and the occasional gossip magazine) is a good romance novel.
but lest you judge me too fervently, i must add that i do at least try to inject some modicum (hah - see what i did there? injected a fancy-schmancy vocab word to regain your trust and admiration ^_^) of redeeming value into my novels by only reading crime fiction thriller romance. the romance is prevalent and steamy, but it is surrounded by a gauze of detective mystery and suspense that makes me feel i'm not just reading smarm.
but occasionally the Lord will inject Himself into my weakness, even into my fluffy crime thriller romances. i love that He uses all means available to Him to break into my daily doings and grab my attention.
in this one particular series--as is wont in many series-- the man is utterly enthralled with the woman. people, he wants her, the totality of her. he is 100% committed, emotionally engaged, charming and witty, unafraid to protect what's his: basically he is the rich, handsome, total package.
she on the other hand is somewhat unable to accept the totality of his devotion-- she questions, she doubts whether this is what she wants, she fears, she challenges his love.
and i, the reader, shout at her (metaphorically, of course -- thou shalt not shout during precious naptime quiet): "what more could you possibly want, foolish woman?!?!?! the epitome of manly perfection wants YOU!!!!!!"
and watch, here is where the Lord rocks my world a little.
this, ladies and gentlemen. this is how He wants us.
this is how He loves us.
perfectly. totally. unconditionally. passionately. full and undeniable agape.
and the angels in heaven bear witness to our ridiculous chasing after other things that don't matter and won't fulfill or make us happy. they watch as we doubt, as we question, as we fear and challenge.
and they echo that shout back to us (literally this time, because they don't have to worry about naptime, being that they exist in perfect eternal bliss): "DON'T YOU REALIZE WHAT GIFT YOU HAVE?!?!?! HE WANTS YOU!!!!"
this, dear readers. this is the greatest love story. the story of how our God adores every little weak bit of us. He adores the part that falls apart a little in doubt. He adores the part that struggles to keep head above water. He adores the part that makes foolish mistakes in the effort to do what is right.
He simply and unequivocally adores us. He created us, bled for us, died for us, because He simply and fully adores us. no questions asked, no strings attached, except the vulnerable request that we love Him back.
and He stands waiting for our response, as He waited for Peter's response: "do you love Me?"
and if we are unable to love with agape (full, total, unconditional love), He is content to accept our filio love (the love of a brother), which is not quite what He desires, but is what He will accept until we are able to give all.
and He promises he will accept us as we are, invite us into a relationship that will take us deeper, and wait patiently for us as we stumble clumsily towards His open heart.
because He cannot help but love us.
and we cannot hope to exist without that love.