Monday, October 19

Wanted: Non-Perfectionist to be Mother to Baby Boy

I had an interesting conversation with a good friend recently about parenting and perfection. This person, who is a dear, dear friend, commented that she didn't ever think that she would feel ready to start a family. She said that the heavy responsibility of raising children was too awesome to contemplate, when she didn't even feel her own life was fully on track or under control.

Do I ever know that feeling. So often, I am overwhelmed at the thought of what I have committed myself to. One day, I will stand before Almighty God and say, "Lord, this is what you gave me and this is what I did with that gift." The greatest gift the Lord bestows is that of life, and He allows us, weak and inadequate as we are, to participate in that act of creation.

It is so humbling to think that, with all my own insecurities and fears, I am, in the eyes of the Lord, fit to raise a child--though entirely with His grace. What an awesome responsibility, yes, but at the same time, what an invigorating challenge and call to succeed. For it is now my mission to raise children that will be godly men and women someday. My children will be tomorrow's leaders and, God willing, saints.

I am so unbelievably grateful that the Lord does not demand the perfection that He so rightly could expect. He is perfect, He is all good, He is all holy. And yet, He not only loves me in spite of my imperfection, but He also lovingly accepts all that I can offer and even goes further to perfect my doings Himself. I am truly overwhelmed by His mercy and grace.

During my semester studying abroad in Austria, one of the significant and life-changing times of my life, I composed the following prayer that I want to now share with you:

I give You the best of me, I give You the worst of me,
My self in my entirety.
My strengths and my faults, holding nothing back,
Your presence in me makes up all that I lack.
Give me the strength and the grace 
In everything only to seek Your face.
My single ambition - Lord, help me be true - 
To be less of me and more of You. 

This has been and continues to be such a prayer from my heart. As a recovering perfectionist, I know deep in my heart that He alone gets me through the day. He alone will guide me in the proper raising of my son to bring him to holiness. And you know what? I am so ok with that! God, You be God, and I will be content to be my little self, striving in each day to glorify You and delight You with my crazy antics and efforts to please You. Amen.

1 comment:

  1. Amen to all this! I still struggle with my momhood. Have I done all that I can? Have I prayed enough? Have I set a good enough example? Will my children ever regret having me for a mother? Will they miss me when I am gone? I am so glad that Paul wrote, "For when I am weak, then I am strong." With those words on my lips, I can actually give God my two most special people in my life and trust that he will not let my pleas go unheard.


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