Making A Difference

Sometimes it is striking, the things in life that make an impact on you.

Ever since I had my baby, one "escape" I've enjoyed more than ever before is that of television. Just to be able to hear a voice other than my own to hear, a glimpse into a world full of things other than dirty diapers and pacifiers. Not that I'm complaining. I love my baby more than anything. But a little escape is nice, refreshing, re-energizing.

One of my favorite shows has been House, M.D. I watched an episode recently that seemed one of those iconic moments that sticks with you for a while. A man was admitted to the hospital who was slowly dying of a horrendously painful heart condition. Now, the doctor offers to make him comfortable during his final hours, as there is nothing else they can do for him. And he refuses. Vehemently. Who in their right mind refuses the blissful escape that medicine offers? This man. Why? Because he had spent his entire alone and unnoticed. He wanted to die knowing that at least one person would remember him, that the world would be a changed place because of him being in it.

Now, you may say that action really doesn't make him memorable. It makes him stupid, or irrational, or idealistic at best, willing to suffer agony just to make a point. But I remember him now. Granted, he's just a character on a show, but I watched it a few weeks ago, and I still think of him.

I want to be remembered. Maybe not for refusing medicine, but I want to make a difference. I want the lives of people around me to be different, and not just different, but better for having known me. For this man, it had taken desperate measures. For me, it might be as simple as a smile for a tired cash register worker. Or a door opened for someone with a heavy load. Or endless trips to a baby's room when he wakes up crying in the middle of the night. Things that are free, but sometimes cost a little (or not-so-little) effort to accomplish.

It might be easier to go unnoticed. It might require less of me, less selflessness. But I don't want that easy road. I want to give. I have so much, that the least I can do is give. I want to make a difference, if just for one person. If I can be that sunshine, that smile, that gift of hope, then I will be content.