Incredible to think that this simple sentence sums up my entire daily existence. Those of you who are mothers out there will understand entirely, and perhaps offer up an "Amen, sister." I just recently joined the ranks of mothers across the globe in May of 2009, and already my life is completely transformed. I have dreamed of being a mother since I was ten years old, and I love my son more than myself. He is everything to me. And yet, I was a person before I had my son, and am now on a quest to discover how to bring to fulfillment both entities that I now am. I am Gabriela Frei, and I am a mother.
I know, I know. Having a baby does not make me less myself at heart. It's true, but at the same time, I've marveled that in the past four months, I have sacrificed bits of myself on the altar of motherhood. And I've been quite ok with that, for the most part. My beautiful son is worth it and more. At the same time, I'm embarking on this journey to learn how better to be myself in and through my motherhood. I don't feel it's necessary to sacrifice everything that has made me who I am, just because I also have the responsibility to raise a child.
What am I not willing to give up? My love for music. I have been writing songs and singing for nearly ten years. There is a deep part of me, at my core, that would shrivel up and die without my music. It emerges from my spirit, expresses what mere words cannot. It's my lifesong.
I believe with all my heart that I can learn to be both Gabriela the mother and Gabriela the person, the musician, the wife, the woman. I can nurture my son and my gifts at the same time, and both can flourish.
I have been given an incredible gift, the opportunity to experiment and discern how best to live this challenge. I have my lovely son, and now I have the chance to achieve my life's dream: to sing professionally for the glory of God. I am a semifinalist in a vocal competition called "Voice of An Angel" here in Florida. I had the pleasure to audition both in Naples and at Rock the Universe at Universal Studios in Orlando. I'm going to pursue both my dreams wholeheartedly.
This blog will chronicle my quest. I will write about the ordinary challenges of motherhood, of juggling loves, of seeking to become the fullest version of myself. To God be the Glory.
I believe it's possible to do it all, to have it all. I'm excited to see how you succeed!
ReplyDeleteGabs,
ReplyDeleteJesse and I were just listening to a speaker who captured what you're writing about here, too. She said something to the effect of this: "Our life does not revolve around our children. Instead, the life of our FAMILY revolves around the MISSION that God has given to us AS A FAMILY." It's no coincidence that God gave you a husband who is a musician in his own right, too, and I'm sure a little boy who loves nothing more in the world than the sound of his Mama's voice. May this journey be another beautiful step on the path of your vocation, and your family's mission! <3 C
Gabby, I have always admired you for your amazing voice and ability to prayerfully balance the different aspects of your life. May the added adventure of motherhood continue the excitement of this balance!
ReplyDelete