Tuesday, June 22

Why Can't You Just Take A Nap????

Ah, the days when the cub is sick... 

It used to be that nothing could ever slow me down. Not sleeplessness, not sickness, not homework, not anything. I was a machine! 

And now, God has chosen in His infinite wisdom to bestow upon an automatic "take-a-breather" mechanism: my one year old and his occasionally malfunctioning immune system. 

Behold, the days of runny noses and watery eyes and moaning and groaning and gnashing of teeth are upon me! And I'm forced to step outside myself and once again learn to put the needs of another WAY FAR before my own. 

I've discovered that it's easy to put the needs of another before your own when you feel the cause is noble and honorable and commendable. I found that I would gladly get up in the middle of the night to feed my baby, because he needed me, because it was fulfilling, because it was good and right. I was proud to serve. 

But I've also discovered that when my baby is sniffly and germy and wet and whiny, giving up my own plans and schedule to tend to his needs becomes an heroic effort as opposed to an honor. He's less apt to entertain himself, and more likely to sit at my feet and cry, content only with 100% of my attention. 

It's frustrating, when I have a to-do list the length of my arm, schedules to keep to, things to get done... 

But I'm coming to see that the Lord is calling me to a change in perspective and in purpose. There will always be things to do. But my little one will be little for such a short time. Soon enough, he won't need me anymore. And then I will look back longingly at this beautiful time when all he wants to do is cuddle his mama, and wonder why I didn't take advantage. 

And that applies to life in general. Sometimes, we are so caught up in the tasks, the business, that we lose sight of the present moment, the loveliness of life right now. The Lord is good in giving me reminders to slow down and bask in His goodness now, even if that goodness comes in the form of Matthew fighting off disease like a champion. 

All he needs to be happy is my attention. There's really nothing so important, that needs to be done right this second, that justifies my refusal to spend that time with my best guy. 

Lord, help me to be patient when it counts. Help me to love when it's hard. Help me to put myself aside when no one is watching. Help me be less of me and more of You. Amen.

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