as a child rests in his mother's arms, so will i rest in you

hello to all.

a brief little message before my post: i just wanted you to know that no matter who you are or where you are, you are loved today. because i love you. i love that you are joining me in this little journey. i love that you take the time to read the words of my heart and share in my experiences. and so i pray for you specifically right now, that God may reach into the depths of your heart and reveal his love and peace like never before.

now back to our regularly scheduled program.


every so often i find myself with a shrieking infant who is so tired that he cannot do the very thing that he wants, really needs so badly to do: fall asleep. he lays in my arms so rigid, his little body craving the very thing he refuses to submit to.

and i realize that sometimes i am the same way with the Lord. i fight his will, which is the best thing for me. i kick and scream and pout, petulantly demanding MY WAY when his way is the only one that ensures joy and peace.

and the worst part is that our spirits crave what the Lord offers us. we were created to yearn for his love, guidance, and peace. but our obstinate hearts think we know what is best, that the Lord doesn't see our particular circumstances or understand our situation - "if you only knew what i'm dealing with, Lord, you'd see it my way too."

and all along the Lord is embracing me, comforting me in my ridiculousness, cherishing me in spite of my resistance to what he knows is best.

for as much as i love my little daniel in spite of his absurd refusal to simply allow himself to fall asleep, how much more does the Lord look on me with love when i childishly try to assert my independence and explain to him how much i am dealing with and how he ought to be God.


i want to rest in your love. i want to be at peace in you. i want to trust implicitly, to surrender totally.

i want to want what you want. 


Lord, strip from me my childishness. grant me the grace to be childlike, to trust simply in you, to bask in your grace and trust that all will be, if not always happy, at least perfect according to your plan if i simply say fiat.  

i know he's not sleeping, but still so joyful!

literature of my soul

every few years, i re-read the joy of full surrender by father jean-pierre de caussade.

i cannot adequately express how essential this book is to my spiritual life.

it--or rather the lessons and truths contained within-- has carried me through darkness into the lord's marvelous light. it has encouraged me to let go, to let God. it has opened my eyes to a better way of life, a richer, more fulfilled, more peaceful one.

i have started it anew, as i always do when the clouds of anxiety and self-doubt and stress begin to descend around me, threatening to wrench away the peace in my heart.

i work very hard for the peace. it does not come easily for me, nor does maintaining absolute trust in God, in his plan for my life, in his perfect timing and divine care.

this book helps so much, coupled with the daily meditations of God calling.

take today's word for example:
rest knowing all is so safe in My hands. rest is trust. ceaseless activity is distrust. ...
 how foolish are your attempts to save yourself, one hand on the rope, and one making efforts to swim ashore. you may relinquish your hold of the rope and hinder the rescuer...  
the final stage [is] when the saved soul trusts Me so entirely it seeks no more its own way, but leaves all future plans to Me its rescuer. 

i earnestly desire that level of peace, of surrender, of trust. i long for the day that i can wake up and say with all my heart, today is yours, Lord. guide me through it as You will.

i say it now, but half-heartedly. i offer my day to Him, then go about my ceaseless activity, bouncing from one project to the next at breakneck speed, without giving Him the chance to break through the noise.

so in this moment, Lord, i stop. i breathe. i quiet myself.

i look for You. because all it takes is one glance, and my heart is captivated.

help me to be still and know that You are God, in control and in perfect awareness of my needs, desires, and capacities.

the first chapter of the joy of full surrender is titled: holiness is faithfulness to God's will.

Lord, you do not demand success, but ask for effort.

today, i will try to listen, to be faithful, and to surrender more perfectly to Your will.

photo credit: taken from http://h3sean.com/relationship-surrender/

What I've Learned from Prayer Group and LOST

My parents have a weekly prayer group that normally meets on Thursday nights. Imagine the craziness that breaks loose when they decide to change things up a bit and have it on Friday night this week!

I have blogged about this group before here (if you want the full experience, I wrote down another message that was spoken). If you live in the Fort Myers, Florida area perchance, contact me if you are interested in attending. Seriously, it's been a great blessing for many years.

Yesterday, I could sense the Lord speaking to my heart, and surprise, surprise, it was yet another continuation of the peace vs. anxiety theme that's been ongoing this week. This was the message:

Great Is Thy Faithfulness

The Lord is so faithful to me. I pray for renewed ability to trust and surrender, and He provides grace and answers to difficult questions. I pray for companionship on this journey of faith, and He provides a beautiful friend to share life’s joys and challenges with. I do not deserve the attention to detail He always seems to achieve, but He doesn’t give it because I have earned it. He gives it because He is good. 



I’m grateful for the opportunity to share my heart with another. It’s amazing how a change of perspective can cause you to reevaluate, give you new courage and hope. It’s even more amazing how when it comes down to it, we are not as alone in our crosses as we think. More often than we realize, our challenges are not so different from those of people close to us. 

The roots of our experiences – stress, anxiety, discouragement, fear, etc – are universal, even if their particular evincing in our lives is unique. I draw so much comfort from the realization that what I experience, others have experienced and overcome and will continue to endure. We learn from each other, from our successes and failures, and together, we move forward towards a common goal of holiness, of unity with Christ.

My challenge for this week is to take the time to recognize the many blessings in my life and learn better to draw joy and happiness from them. Life is hard, but that truth makes it no less poignant, exquisite, or worthwhile. Learning to love ourselves and our lives in the midst of our individual circumstances is a lifelong commitment, but one that makes daily life worth living. 


Instead of focusing on the illusory “someday” – that day when all will be blissful, easy, perfect – we instead grow to love who we are today on the way to who we will become. We must live in the present moment, the only one we are assured we will have.

By focusing on being content in our day-to-day circumstances and drawing joy from the big and little blessings alike, the peace will come. Oh, the peace. I long for it with every fiber of my being. That wondrous state of existence when all else fades before the knowledge that all is well in the Hands of God. Nothing can shake you when you stand firm in His peace. All becomes manageable, meaningful, acceptable. Your will is united with His. 



My mother beautifully describes it as allowing the river’s current to sweep you along, instead of wasting all your energy trying to swim upstream. When I think of peace, I imagine Christ sleeping in the boat as the storm raged around Him. Just because you are at peace in the Lord does not at all mean the storm has ended or has no affect. Rather, it has no power to cause you fear or anxiety, because you are protected by a greater power, Whom all the winds and the seas obey.

Now, the peace, joy, and contentment I seek are not to be confused with complacency and laziness. I do not intend to remain stagnant in my own situation, not moving forward because I’m ok with where I am. I fully intend to challenge myself, to grow in my relationship with the Lord, to seek deeper meaning in my life and my crosses, and to discover new joy in my daily activities. My goal above all is to honor and glorify Him in every moment of every day, no matter what I am doing. Whether I am changing a dirty diaper, singing on stage, running errands, ministering to a broken heart, or simply sitting and relaxing, I intend to glorify Him in all things. 

That’s what we were created to do – our purpose is to glorify Him through our accomplishments, through our humility, through our journey towards holiness, towards Him.

Wish me luck!

Thank You for the Music - Voice of An Angel Audition!

I wanted to share a bit about my experience at the Voice of An Angel Callbacks at Rock the Universe. I have to be honest and say, for the three weeks preceding, I wasn't nervous at all. I felt that the opportunity that I had been praying the Lord send me for years was finally here. I felt this was the door being flung open, as God proclaimed from on high, "Here, at last, is your chance, my Beloved little one!"