Thursday, May 31

God, grant me patience.

i find that patience is a virtue that does not come easily to me.

i hate wasted time. i chart my path for my errands to go in a nice little loop, so to use my time to the fullest.

this is not to say that i can't use my time doing goofy foolish things - i love my facebooking and funny videos as much as the next person.

it's the time i spend sitting and waiting for someone to arrive or something to happen that grates on my nerves.

"now, now, gabi," you may say, "that's a perfect opportunity for prayer, or for getting something else done, or for x, y, z, etc. etc. etc."

nope. can't do it. if i know that something is supposed to happen soon or someone is supposed to arrive soon, i will be consumed by waiting until said person emerges or said thing is accomplished.

and the waiting is what kills me.

i am where i am supposed to be. i am (really not) "patiently" waiting.

why in the name of all that is good and chocolate-y is this not happening already???

i could have gotten all this other stuff done in the amount of time i have spent waiting.

and to answer your unspoken question, i didn't get all that stuff done, because it required leaving my house. an absolute no-no right now, otherwise said person will come and go without accomplishing said duty, and then i will have to spend another morning waiting...


and so i wait, as i've been waiting since 9 o'clock this morning. 

and i grumble and i complain and i grouch like oscar -- we've become pals today.

and then i realize how ugly he is, and how little i want to be like him...

it's difficult to wait, to be patient.

i'm only waiting for a morning. blessed mother teresa waited 50 years for a hint of loving attention from the Lord. she did it without a single complaint.

exhibit a: why i am not yet canonized. seriously, how lovely is she?

please pray for me, beautiful mama teresa.

but this is the beauty of the faith - we have these examples of patience, of charity, of trust before our eyes to show us that yes, it is possible for mere humanity to rise from the dregs of bad behavior and ascend closer to the heavenly bliss of perfection.

so even though today i have failed miserably at not being miserable as i wait, there is always tomorrow.

there will always be another opportunity to practice as i preach to you all. i am so far from perfect, that i am grateful the Lord continues to give me these chances to grow.

Lord, keep them coming - but not too many! give me reason to hope too.

the photos you see here are not my own work. i gratefully give credit to the following sites:

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